Why Do Some People Enjoy Pain During Sex—Especially Around Orgasm?
For some people, pain during sex is a complete turn-off. For others, a certain amount of pain can actually make sexual pleasure stronger, particularly when they are highly aroused or approaching orgasm. That doesn't necessarily mean they enjoy being hurt in everyday life. In sexual contexts, the brain can interpret the same physical sensation very differently depending on arousal, anticipation, trust, control, and meaning.
So what is going on?
Pain and Pleasure Can Overlap
Pain isn't simply an on/off signal for "bad." The experience of pain involves the nervous system, but the brain also interprets that signal according to what is happening around it.
Research on BDSM and pain suggests that emotional state, sexual arousal, expectations, perceived control, interpersonal connection, and the surrounding context can all influence whether painful stimulation is experienced as unpleasant, exciting, or even pleasurable. That helps explain why someone might dislike an accidental injury but actively enjoy a controlled painful sensation during consensual sex. The sensation is not the whole experience. Context matters.
Why Can Pain Feel Good During Sexual Arousal?
Sexual arousal changes the way the brain and body process sensations. Research on BDSM has found biological changes involving the body's stress and reward systems. In one small experimental study, submissive participants experienced increases in cortisol and endocannabinoids during BDSM interactions, while pleasure increased alongside the physiological stress response.
A systematic review also found evidence involving several systems associated with pain, reward, stress, and social interaction—including endogenous opioids and endocannabinoids. But there is an important distinction: this does not mean pain automatically becomes pleasurable. It means that under particular circumstances, the brain can process pain as part of an exciting or rewarding experience.
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Why Might It Feel Especially Intense Near Orgasm?
Orgasm is already an extremely intense neurological and physiological event. Sexual stimulation activates reward and arousal pathways in the brain, and research suggests that endogenous opioids such as β-endorphin are involved in sexual pleasure and orgasm. At high arousal, additional intense sensations may therefore become part of the overall experience rather than being perceived as an isolated unpleasant sensation.
There is another interesting detail: research has found that genital pain sensitivity can actually change around orgasm. In one laboratory study, women showed changes in genital pain thresholds following masturbation and orgasm. So the popular idea that "orgasm switches off pain" is too simple. Sexual arousal and orgasm can alter pain processing, but the effect is not identical for everyone or every body part.
What About Masochism?
This is where the term sexual masochism comes in. In everyday language, a masochist is someone who finds pleasure or sexual excitement in experiencing pain, humiliation, submission, or related sensations. But enjoying consensual painful sexual stimulation does not automatically mean someone has a mental disorder. A sexual interest becomes clinically concerning when it involves significant distress, impairment, non-consensual behavior, or harm—not simply because the interest is unusual.
Research on BDSM has increasingly moved away from automatically treating consensual BDSM interests as pathological. A large Norwegian population study, for example, found that more than one-third of participants reported at least one BDSM interest or behavior.
Why Does Control Matter So Much?
Imagine two situations: "Something painful happened to me unexpectedly" versus "I know what is happening, I agreed to it, I trust the person, and I can stop it." Physically, the sensation could be similar. Psychologically, they are completely different experiences.
Researchers studying BDSM have found that volition and perceived control are important parts of understanding why pain can become pleasurable. This is one reason consensual BDSM shouldn't simply be described as "people liking pain." Often, people are responding to a much larger combination of pain, anticipation, arousal, trust, power, control, and emotional connection.
Some People Seem to Tolerate Pain Differently
There is also evidence that people who regularly participate in BDSM may have differences in pain processing. One study found higher pain thresholds among BDSM practitioners, with temporary increases in pain thresholds among submissive participants during BDSM interactions. Another study of people who routinely engaged in masochistic behavior found higher pressure-pain thresholds than controls. However, the researchers could not establish whether this was caused by repeated experiences or whether people with certain pain sensitivities were more likely to be drawn to these activities in the first place. Correlation doesn't tell us which came first.
Does Everyone Who Likes Pain Want More and More Pain?
No. Pain preference is not an intensity competition. Some people enjoy a very mild painful sensation. Others may prefer stronger sensations. Some like pain only in a particular sexual context. Some enjoy the anticipation more than the sensation itself. And some people who enjoy BDSM don't particularly enjoy pain at all—the appeal may be dominance, submission, restraint, power exchange, sensation, psychological intensity, or role-play. BDSM is much broader than pain.
Why Can Pain Become Part of an Orgasm?
For some people, painful stimulation becomes associated with sexual excitement over time. The brain doesn't process sexual pleasure as a single isolated sensation. Touch, anticipation, emotion, fantasy, reward, attention, and bodily sensations are integrated into one experience. So a sensation that would normally be unpleasant can become sexually meaningful when it occurs inside an individual's particular arousal pattern. That doesn't mean the person is "secretly damaged" or that something must have happened to cause it. Sometimes that's simply what their sexual response finds exciting. And science still doesn't have one universal explanation for why.
Is Enjoying Pain During Sex Normal?
If we're talking about consensual adult sexual behavior, an interest in pain or BDSM is not automatically a sign that something is wrong. What matters much more is: is everyone consenting? Can anyone stop at any time? Is there communication about limits? Is the activity physically safe? Is anyone being pressured? Is the person actually enjoying it rather than enduring it?
The research increasingly supports looking at consensual BDSM through the lens of individual sexuality and context rather than automatically treating the interest itself as pathological.
But Pain Is Still Pain
This is the part that shouldn't get lost. Enjoying consensual pain doesn't mean all pain is safe. Sharp, unexpected, escalating, or persistent pain is different from a deliberately chosen sensation that someone finds pleasurable. Pain, bleeding, injury, numbness, or pain that continues after sexual activity is a reason to stop rather than assume that "more pain = more pleasure." The goal isn't to eliminate every uncomfortable sensation. The goal is to understand the difference between a sensation someone actively wants and an injury their body is warning them about.
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GITMPLAYBOOK Advice
If you're curious about pain during sex, the most important rule is to start slow and stay within your comfort zone. Pain that feels good is usually predictable, controlled, and consensual. It should never feel like an accident or an injury. Communicate clearly with your partner about what you want and what you don't. Use a safe word. Check in with each other. And remember: if it stops feeling good, it's not a failure to stop. It's a success to listen to your body.
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The Short Answer
So, why do some people enjoy pain during sex—sometimes even when approaching orgasm? Because sexual pleasure isn't produced by one simple "pleasure button." Pain, arousal, reward, anticipation, emotion, control, and social connection can interact. For some people, that combination makes certain painful sensations sexually exciting. Around orgasm, when arousal and sensory processing are already highly activated, the experience can become particularly intense.
But there isn't one biological explanation that applies to everyone. And perhaps the most useful takeaway is this: liking pain during consensual sex doesn't necessarily mean liking pain itself. It may mean liking what that sensation becomes when the brain places it inside a sexual context.
Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Consensual BDSM and pain play involve physical and emotional risks. Always practice with informed consent, clear communication, and proper safety precautions. If you experience persistent pain, injury, or concerning symptoms, please consult a qualified healthcare provider.
References
- Journal of Sex Research / PubMed. Physical Pain as Pleasure: A Theoretical Perspective.
- Journal of Sexual Medicine / PubMed. The Biology of BDSM: A Systematic Review.
- Journal of Sexual Medicine / PubMed. Between Pleasure and Pain: The Biological Mechanisms Associated With BDSM Interactions.
- Journal of Sexual Medicine / PubMed. Beyond Pain: The Variance of Pain Thresholds Within BDSM Interactions.
- Journal of Sexual Medicine / PubMed. Pleasure and Pain: The Effect of (Almost) Having an Orgasm on Genital and Nongenital Sensitivity.